AtHomeWithLorraineKelly2016 - 81

REAL LIFE ▲

'I ENVY MY
FRIENDS'
JULIETTE WILLS KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN
THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER STRIKES - SHE
BATTLES WITH IT EVERY DAY. BUT CAN SHE
DEFEAT HER BIGGEST FOE?

S

itting at the table in the
enormous kitchen of a
country house, I'm nursing
a cup of Earl Grey while a
handsome white cat licks his
paws on the stone ﬂoor next to me.
Lunch was a boiled egg, thoughtfully
hatched that morning by one of the
three chickens housed in a garden
so vast it has its own duck pond
and no actual end - rather, it backs
onto miles of cornﬁelds and an
uninterrupted view of the picturesque
South Downs in East Sussex.
There are photos on the walls
of a happy couple and their two
golden-haired children, and handwritten sentiments are everywhere.
It's a house and a life bursting with
love and pride, but none of it is mine.
It belongs to a couple of my oldest,
dearest friends; and while I genuinely
couldn't be happier for them, I can't
shake this nagging feeling I get in the
pit of my stomach whenever I visit:
that feeling is envy, and I don't like it.

IMAGES: GETTY IMAGES

DAILY FIGHT

In contrast, I come from a humble
background: my parents never had
money; my dad worked six days
a week with a slipped disc and
duodenal ulcer for lousy pay and a
boss he loathed. I grew up with his
spectacular work ethic, along with
an overwhelming desire for ﬁnancial
stability. By the time I was 27, I was
working as a sports journalist and
broadcaster, and had just bought a

ﬂat in Brighton, but my success was
short-lived - just a year later I was
diagnosed with spinal arthritis and
inﬂammatory bowel disease.
Crippled by pain I underwent lifesaving surgery to remove my colon.
Two further surgeries meant I spent
the best part of two years recovering,
although that's the thing - I have
never really recovered, physically,
emotionally or ﬁnancially.

PERFECT LIVES

It will come as no surprise, then, that I
wrestle with the green-eyed monster.
JULIETTE
I envy friends with healthy bodies and
bank balances, who have rich social
lives and go on far-ﬂung holidays,
presents it diﬀerently. We live in
their posting of photos of
an age where we can choose
cocktails and sunsets serves
exactly how we wish
to remind me that my
to be seen by simply
last decent night out
editing out the bad
was ﬁve years ago.
bits. When I see a
I see friends' careers
'DESPITE BEING
photo of my friend's
going from strength
IN PAIN 24/7, I'M
toddler picking
to strength while my
A RELATIVELY
at a homemade
achievements are
CHEERFUL,
muﬃn while the
rooted so ﬁrmly in the
MENTALISTIC SORT'
sunlight catches her
past they're gathering
white-blonde hair
dust. I envy the
(#blessed), I know that
intimacy my best friend has
ﬁve minutes before the picture
with her handsome, thoughtful
was taken she was probably having
and talented husband; I envy the fact
a meltdown in front of Peppa Pig
that she will never, ever have to worry
(#ohmygodjuststopscreaming),
about money, and I even envy her
and these are the thoughts I go back
dainty feet - mine are a size six and
to when I say, 'I wish I had this life'.
I've just endured bunion surgery.
I don't really want it all, I just want
I know that other people's lives
the good bits, and real life doesn't
aren't perfect, even if social media

My life...

www.athomemagazine.co.uk AUGUST 2016 | 081
AtHomeWithLorraineKelly2016

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