AtHomeWithLorraineKelly2016 - 87

R E L AT I O N S H I P S ▲

'We make room
in our diaries
to get naughty'
LORRAINE
SAYS
'You need to
work at your
relationship
and not take
each other
for granted.
It's easy to
fall into a
rut, but you
should try
and surprise
each other.
Don't just
make love
at the same
time and
place. Mix it
up and have
some fun.'

MATTHEW, 46, AND SEEMA, 44,
HAD COUNSELLING SESSIONS
TO REVIVE THEIR SEX LIFE
'Our sex life started 20 years ago in
the back of a van!' laughs Seema,
who met her partner Matthew in
their home county of Cornwall. 'We
were such hippies. Matt had this
1970s-style campervan; we'd drive
around on crazy weekend trips,
parking up to sleep in lay-bys and
getting frisky down country lanes.
Since then, there have been lots of
bumps in the road, but we're still
side-by-side.'
ROAD TO NOWHERE
After beginning their relationship as
free spirits, Matthew confesses that
settling down to domestic life took
its toll on the couple. 'Shortly after
moving in together, we fell into bad
habits: working long hours, then
getting home and collapsing in front
of the telly, before falling asleep.'
Sex was infrequent - and for a
while their most passionate sessions
happened after they'd been arguing.
'We'd bicker about unpaid bills
or unﬁnished DIY, get heated up
with anger, then have vigorous

make-up sex,' frowns Seema.
'Making love became a Band-Aid
to ﬁx problems, rather than a joy
in itself. It was toxic.'
Realising they were heading
for a break-up, the pair sought
counselling through Relate. 'One of
the most effective things we learned
was to schedule in time for dates,
and at least one night a fortnight to
making love,' says Matthew. 'A lot of
fuss is made about how sex should
be spontaneous, and planning it
may sound forced, but it builds
my sense of anticipation. I often
text Seema from the ofﬁce before
naughty night, telling her what
I'm looking forward to doing later.'
APPRECIATING EACH OTHER
It's not been smooth sailing since
then - Seema went through an early
menopause, which caused her libido
to nosedive, until she got help from
'HRT and a gentle organic lubricant
called Yes to cope with vaginal
dryness and awful bouts of thrush.'
However, the couple are
committed to sticking to their sex
schedule - and staying together.
'Seema and I see one another
every day, but it's important to
make space to truly feel each other,
too, in a soulful sense,' Matthew
philosophises. 'Scheduling sex isn't
just about getting regular action; it
means making room for closeness,
for deep conversations, and for truly
appreciating what we have.'

SUMMER LOVIN'
Research by Durex shows that 36%
of people are put off having sex if they
feel too sticky and hot. Position an
electric fan on your bedside table, and
pop a reed diffuser with an uplifting
tropical fragrance in front of it, so you're
enveloped in a refreshing cloud of
sun-soaked scent as you make love.
Try making lube cubes: freeze
water-based lubricant in an ice-cube
tray, then trail a cold cube over your
partner's nipples, back and legs as a

thrilling, chilling way to cool down when
temperatures soar. Add an extra taste
sensation by using System JO ﬂavoured
lubes, which come in unusual varieties like
black liquorice and sweet pomegranate.
Make your lover shiver and quiver, then
warm them up with your tongue!
Our sense of smell is strongly linked
to the power of memory. Using sun
lotion or coconut oil to give your partner
a massage can evoke happy, relaxing
reminders of holidays gone by - excellent

escapism. Just remember that oils and
creams are not compatible with condoms.
A nationwide survey by erotic retailer
Ann Summers found that over 80% of
Brits now own sex toys, and over half
switch their vibrator on at least once a
fortnight. But if you're travelling abroad
on vacation, do check that sex aids are
legal in your destination before you
sling one in your suitcase; they can be
conﬁscated by customs in United Arab
Emirates and some parts of the Carribean.

www.athomemagazine.co.uk AUGUST 2016 | 087
AtHomeWithLorraineKelly2016

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